A little about me

Who am I?

Can I really answer that question?

Yes. I can. I am a mother, a wife, a student, a friend, a companion, a daughter, a sister, and a person hiding behind a smile. Thats right you heard me. I am hiding. I hide from my fears, my true feelings, my emotions, my self, my family, and everything else that makes my life what it is today.

I have been through so much in my life and I am sick of it taking over my life TODAY! This is what I have been through, and if you don't want to hear anything negative, sick, hurtful, brutal honest, and depressing then you should LEAVE this blog now. I am not looking for sympathy, compassion, or negativity. I am looking to HEAL my wounds and create better life for ME and ONLY ME.

My Life:
I was separated from my mother for 13 years- and hidden from her so that we could not be reunited.
I was molested by a SICK man, and I will never forgive him for taking my innocence.
I was ridiculed in High School for being a nerd and not wanting to party.
I was treated like an outsider in my own family for not being "blood related."
I was in foster care for 2-3 months.
I was taken for granted by someone who was supposed to be the one person I could count on.
I was brainwashed into thinking that someone could change and that they never hurt me.
I was taken for granted by men in my life and used and left with a broken heart and empty emotions.

BUT THIS WILL NO LONGER CONTROL ME.

I am NOT sorry for those of you reading this and thinking how dare she write this and publish it where anyone can read. I DONT CARE anymore. What happened in my past made me the person I am today. Even though I am ashamed at who I am sometimes, there is other parts of me that I am PROUD of.

1. I am proud that I married Zach.
2. I am proud to have two beautiful daughters that mean the world to me.
3. I am proud that I was able to find my mother in October 2004.
4. I am proud that even though friends and family have hurt me; they can always count on me.
5. I am proud that I am in college.
6. I am proud that I am owning my emotions and making the changes I need to...starting NOW!!!

So this is me...and I hope to still keep whomever is reading this in my life; if not oh well, I am better off without the negativity in my life. So welcome to my story and my everyday emotions.